Once upon a time in Louisiana
I found myself half wasted late at night
I was drinking heavily with Jesus
Talking about impacts of his life
Tell me, tell me Jesus
Tell me, tell me more
Why am I not happy?
Why am I not rich?
Why nobody loves me?
Why life such a bitch?
Bitch! B I T C H
Bitch! B I T C H
Bitch! B I T C H
Bitch!
Jesus looked at me kinda weird
I saw silver tears in his eyes
Cracking jokes and laughing through his beard
Drinking from a bottle fine red wine
Tell me, tell me Jesus
Tell me, tell me more
Why am I not happy?
Why am I not rich?
Why nobody loves me?
Why life's such a bitch?
Jesus had a shot of Jose Cuervo
Then we had some whiskey on the rocks
Then we started dancing like two maniacs
Then he said to me:
JESUS: "You are a drunk!"
WITNESSES: "Yeah!"
JESUS: "You are a loser!"
WITNESSES: "Yeah!"
JESUS: "You are a womanizer!"
JESUS & WITNESSES (Raise glasses): "Hallelujah!"
Why am I not happy?
Why am I not rich?
Why nobody loves me?
Why life such a bitch?
Why am I not happy?
Why am I not rich?
Why nobody loves me?
Why life such a bitch?
Bitch! B I T C H
Bitch! B I T C H
Bitch! B I T C H
Bitch!
